What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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