none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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