He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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