we have officially lost it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
