we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
