you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
