she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
