what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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