I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
