i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Randomize
