and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
