Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Maybe he injected his testicle?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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