Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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