At least make sure they are 18
Why
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
