some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
