I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
