last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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