you would pick up someone in the library
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
