Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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