We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
