i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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