I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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