uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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