..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm jealous of your bromance
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
