I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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