how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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