ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize