Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
