dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
