I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
