the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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