So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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