spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
