I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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