You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize