so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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