You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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