i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
