Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
this beer tastes like vomit already
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
