God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When are your genitals available?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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