Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm really into asian looking animals
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
