he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
