I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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