you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
