I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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