I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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