Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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