my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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