it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
