You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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