I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
