I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
