See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
