everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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