She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
