he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize