I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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