the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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