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I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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