Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
