If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you had me at cake vodka
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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