He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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