Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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