Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
