I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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